Image by Mr. Biggs from DeviantArt

When I was brainstorming for SORCERER’S WAR, I happened across an article on meter and verse. As happens occasionally, I was struck by inspiration and decided to try something a little unusual for me. My original plan was to include this with the text ofWAR, but after some reflection I decided that it didn’t quite fit.

I imagine this as a popular tavern song in the Old Kingdoms of Eisengoth, sung with that sort of tuneless swagger that you only get when you’re singing medieval tavern songs as a group and nobody really knows what the melody is.

If you’ve never had this experience, imagine a church hymn where all of the parishoners are attending for the first time and everyone is sopping drunk.

Royal Paranoia
author unknown

Though the meat may be poisoned and cups overflow
With cheap wines and the worst kinds of death I could know
I must sit in this throne simply waiting all while
With my subjects my son plans my doom with a smile

It is plain in his eyes, his intentions are clear
What he might attempt next leaves me shaking with fear
He’s sent stableboys out to make my horse go lame
Even servants now try to make me do the same

They have all turned against me, the blaggards and sots
‘less I do something soon they will make sure I rot!
Every shadow makes me want to leap from my boots
And the drop of a hat makes me let out a hoot!

There is no one believes me, not even my wife
She’ll be sorry–oh NO! Here comes the–

(raucous laughter and cheering)